Painting shooting
Arrhythmia Festival 2024 and my performative sculpture "Painting Assault", player49.
the breaking up of art, a gentle painting and its brutal destruction, another uniquely artistic mandala and this meditative throwing of taunts created a mixture of strength and tenderness. the beginning, the end, a new beginning - creation, its destruction by creating a new artistic unexpected event in the sawmill, as well as by inventing a new picture.
Crossroad
just not married
Given to women, sociocultural standards, as if this was their promised destiny.
I still don't know anything, but the 6-hour experience at the crossroads made me experience myself in a way I've never experienced before. First generations always have a charm.
Perhaps accepting the roles assigned to us by time and generations is kind of natural, after all, we learn from example, we repeat adults and so unconditionally desire to become them in childhood, but when we grow up, we repeat the same lives we have already lived, and thus we weave an endless web of repetition in which there is no room for change. I depict this vicious circle with my performative sculpture.
Basically, I realize the only truth that by meeting the expectations of others, I will never satisfy my inner hunger to live the way that seems to me to be pleasant and meaningful. Each of us creates our lives as we see fit, but I invite you to basically feel that what you choose, you choose because you feel that way, not because it is "necessary" or "usual" or "normal" or that it is. trendy".....
7 days of standing still and moving slowly. It was full moon at that time. Mystical time. A noble goal.
One in 2020 Saturday midnight, it occurred to me that I have to fulfill this idea, dedicated to a romantic relationship, which in almost 30 years of my life I still haven't been able to create or meet someone who wants to cultivate it with me.
The meaning of this idea was to focus on myself, to feel all the fears of being "exposed", and really, I can tell you that I felt, in the first days, the thoughts "what are you doing here?", "this is stupid".. ..etc. but the longer I stood, the thoughts faded, and standing became so easy and at the same time so important to me, to believe in myself that I was doing it, that the thought became an effective body.
What is this sculpture and who the hell needed to stand there for 7 days, every day, for 2 continuous hours with a broken, slight, sprained leg?
I'll explain right away.
The background is that one of my friends has used the phrase "meet me halfway" several times when talking about her relationship and mutual communication. This sentence symbolizes an invitation to understand the other person more and to work hard for a common goal, i.e. mutual relationship. And this phrase took up a lot of space in my head, because in my previous relationships, I used to rush towards another person with endless rushes, as if losing my mind, when first I needed to see if that other person could meet me halfway.
In the video, you will see an accelerated 7-day performance sculpture in Cathedral Square. You will hear, well, something I was able to create yesterday, with the tools I had...
So...
Do you know that feeling when the closer and with increasing acceleration you move towards a person, the further away they get?
This performative sculpture is intended to emphasize that a romantic relationship is an equal partnership between two people, those two people move to their own rhythm, but if one person takes a step, the other must also take it, otherwise the relationship loses balance.
This is my public declaration and internal manifesto emphasizing the importance of man to man, not only words, but also human actions are equally important in relationships in creating mutual well-being, sympathizing with each other, exposing oneself, openly talking about one's feelings, needs, visions, boundaries without fear.
During this 7-day long performative sculpture, anyone could join, for a short or long time. I invited people to stop, draw with crayons on the pavement of the Cathedral Square everything that comes to mind, I invited them to leave behind the lingering painful feelings, so it's time to let go.
During those days, various people came across, mostly passers-by, but there were some who stopped!
A woman who drew a heart, a man who couldn't understand why he needed all of this, he told me that he didn't have time for such stops, that I had time for that, and he would lie there on that distance after work. Actually, I had time for that because I wanted to spend time on what is important to me. After all, if you don't give each other time and attention, the relationship cannot flourish.
One young girl while drawing with crayons also asked me why she needed it, but I didn't answer her, I thought that life would introduce her to it, and then she would understand, but a little later.
A few friends stopped by to stand, write, write, play.
A young man also came, who didn't understand me either, and who told me before leaving that they had something to do, they were going to drink beer...well, at their age, I also went to drink beer, and not stand in the Cathedral Square.
A foreign guy, Spanish I suspect, who was following, stopped and stood up to stand in front of me. While he was giving, another man came up, read the description, came very close to me and whispered in my ear: "I love you", he also kissed the Spaniard.....I almost cried, I was devastated...no matter how many people passed by during those 14 hours because of this one person, my inner universe turned upside down, something stirred in the depths of my heart, how we really touch each other's lives when we meet, how powerful the words "I love you" are, words that no guy has ever said to me, or words that I have said to any guy I didn't say...
The bells in the Cathedral ring every quarter, in the past the time was not counted precisely, quarters were enough. We are in a big hurry. Where are we in a hurry? After all, death awaits at the end.
In such a slow step, I crossed my metaphorical, relational distance, and something changed. It is active for 2 hours. standing meditation, for 7 days something opened up in my consciousness, what exactly, I don't know yet, but the feeling is really good.
